Thoughts on being a Working Mom

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a stay at home mom. I know it would still be hard work but sometimes I wonder how different my life would be. I would love to stay at home with Eliza everyday. I feel like my soul would be freeer some how. Dont get me wrong, I love my job. If I have to work I couldn't pick a better place, but I still wonder what it would be like if things were different. As a kid, I always pictured myself being a stay-at-home mom just like my mother.

Kase and I would love to find a way for me to stay home. We pray about it and look for things we can do. Hopefully one day we will find a way.

Last week I had to travel for work. I was gone from Tuesday till Friday. It was hard for me to leave the Bug. Fortunately, I dont have to do that very often. On the plus side, there is a temple where I went and I was able to go.

I always enjoy going to the temple by myself because I feel like I focus better. As I sat in the temple I thought about being a working mom. I thought about how I feel inadequate sometimes and I often feel judged by others (that may be mostly in my head). I thought about how I feel lonely and often feel left out. I decided that if this is how I am suppose to be living right now, I dont want to be sad or constantly wishing for another way of life. I want to be happy. I suddenly felt that Heavenly Father knows me and loves me. I felt that I am special. I am not better than anyone else by any means but special in my own way. So many women that I would love to be like have a different way of life and sometimes that maks me feel unworthy or sad. But the truth is I am not those other women. I am doing something a lot of them would not be able to do. I am going to strive to be happy doing it and to set a good example. I had an overwhelming felling that I'm doing what I should be doing. Just like others are doing what they should be doing. I may not always be able to volunteer bring food to people in the middle of a work day, have the cleanest house, get to go to fun play groups, or weekday lunches but I am a good mother and wife. My daughter is happy, smart, and healthy. I just have a different life right now. That does not mean it is bad. It does not mean that someone who says a negative comment to me about being a working mother knows what they are talking about. I am doing just fine. I don't know what the future will bring for my sweet family but I know that I have been blessed beyond measure. I have the sweetest family and I am a good wife and mother whether I am at home or work.