Plans

Before I get into writing this post, let me just say that I know it may be a little controversial. I do not mean for it to be. But lately I have heard many different opinions and I realize this can be a touchy subject. I am just sharing my thoughts. Feel free to share yours.

Before I was pregnant, I always new it would be hard. Pregnancy would be hard, delivery, and parenthood would be hard. But I also knew that these experiences would be wonderful. Above all, I know that we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into.

So far pregnancy has been great. Changes come all the time: new feelings, new phases, a bigger belly. It has been interesting and I feel blessed to have had a fairly pleasant pregnancy so far.

One of the difficult things, atleast for me, is not knowing what to expect. I am a planner after all. We have no idea when this baby will decide to join us. We have no idea if she will be a super needy baby(like her mother) or a laid back baby (like her father). We have no idea what we feel like as parents. I could go on forever. But I guess part of becoming a parent is learning to give over some control. It will be an interesting ride.

Also, one of the most difficult things for me has been visiting daycares. It is so hard to go into a place and decide if the people there will take good care of your baby. If the atmosphere of a place is safe for your baby. It is so hard to look at people and realize they may be taking care of your baby for a large part of the day. They may be the ones who see your baby reach a new milestone for the first time, even before you do. No matter how nice these people seem, it breaks my heart and I haven't even met our little one yet.

Growing up, I always fully expected to be a stay at home mother one day, and maybe one day I will be. I know being a stay at home mom is hard. It is a lot of work. By no means do I think that it is all fun and games. But I wish I could be the one who creates the atmosphere my child will be surrounded by. I wish I could be the one who sees all of our daughter's milestones. I wish I could be with my baby and make sure she is safe and loved all day.

I know there are people who look down on working mothers. I have already experienced some of these judgments. I also know stay at home moms are also judged in the world today. You just can't win I guess. I think that every family is different and you have to do what you have to do to make things work. So people shouldn't judge.

Despite others judgments, I will not be a working mother because we want to afford fancy things or want cable tv. We do not live frivolously. I will not be a working mother because I think my career is more important than my family. I will be working because it is what is best for our family at this time.

Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful job. I have been blessed with the most amazing co-workers. I feel a purpose in what I do for a living. I (mostly) like going to work everday. I am extremely thankful for the opportunity to work where I work with the people that I work with.

But I will miss my baby.

I hope I don't sound too whiney. We are very blessed with the amazing opportunity to have a child. I have a wonderful husband who is supportive and caring and sweet. He works so hard and is striving to provide for our family. I honestly could not ask for a better partner. We both have wonderful parents and siblings who are there if/when we need them.

Does anyone have any working mom advice? We thought about finding and paying someone we know to take care of the baby at their home. But I don't know anyone who would be interested in this commitment.

I know that everything will work out just fine. I am going to treasure the time I get to take off of work to spend with our baby. I know it will all be ok.

This baby stuff is hard already. But it's worth it.

Flying High

Kase loves his internship with ORNL. It has been such a blessing to us. Last week he got to ride in a helicopter and shoot video out the side. He is the tiny person in the front of the helicopter hanging out the door with a video camera.

Awesome for him. He loved it. (Glad I don't have to do anything like that!)

I am very proud of him. I love him.

In other news, I have lots to write about. I am just too lazy and tired. Eventually I will blog about all the lovely baby showers I have been given lately. And I will blog about the nursery, which is looking pretty good I must say. It is almost ready for when our little love decides to join us.

Hey Look Me Over

My mom use to sing a song to us as kids. It goes something like....

"hey look me over, lend me your ear. Fresh out of clover, mortgage up to here, but don't pass the plate folks, don't pass the cup. I figure whenever you're down and out the only way is up. And I'll be up like a rosebud, high on the vine. Don't thumb your nose, but take a tip from mine. I'm a little bit short of elbow room but let me get me some and look out world here I come."

Anyways. Sometimes I do feel a little fresh out of clover.

But not this week. This week I am feeling pretty lucky, and very blessed.

Kase was able to start his internship this week. He was laid off last October and has been fulltime student-ing since. But this week he's back to work, and he loves it. Plus he graduates in 3 weeks! We are excited.

This weekend is looking pretty lucky too. My parents and sister are coming for a visit. And there are some fun baby showers involved! (I wish my brother and his wife could come visit. Hint hint if you happen to ever read this.)

Plus the weather has been awesome.

AND I've also decided our baby is very lucky. In the last 2 weeks, while walking to work I have randomly came across 4 four-leaf clovers. How lucky is that? It's all the baby.

So...

Look out world, here we come!

Baby Update

Last Thursday we went to the doctor for another ultrasound to check on baby's kidneys. The good news is that one kidney looks perfect. The other kidney is still swollen with fluid, but they were able to tell that it is definitely a blockage somewhere. So, we should be able to deliver at Parkwest instead of UT. She should be fine. She will probably have to have surgery a few weeks after she is born to clear out the blockage, but apparently it is a very common surgery.

We are relieved and feel very blessed. I was worried we would have to deliver at UT and they would have to take her away immediately to perform emergency surgery and I would have to go home without her. But it looks like things will be OK. But we will take whatever happens and do what needs to be done. We just want to meet our baby girl.

Other happennings at the doctor's appointment:

Baby:
- Baby weights 3.8 lbs. Still big for her age.
- She is stubborn and would not move around as needed.
- She looks strong and everything else looked good.

Me:
- I drank the sugary orange drink for my sugar test and it was not bad at all.
- I bruise like a peach. Thank you blood-removal-nurse-lady.

Other people at doctor's office:
- While waiting in the waiting room there was another couple there who made us feel like we were in an episode of '16 and Pregnant'. I giggled a lot because of this.


So we had a good doctor's visit. We love our little baby and her big feet.

What's in a Name?

Attention all readers:

I am having a hard time committing to a name for our little girl. I know we still have time, but we would like your vote. That doesn't mean we will necessarily pick whatever name wins the vote. But... it might help me commit.

So vote away!

If you have a better name idea, leave me a comment. You can do it anonymously if you want.

A Fresh Start

Last week was rough. It was dark and gloomy in our house. There was an icky stomach virus that invited its way in. Kase was sicker than I had ever seen him. Then the week was topped off with me welcoming a new phase of pregnancy: swollen feet and ankles. I didn't feel like moving or walking anywhere. Fun.


But then the weekend came. I was able to sleep in and rest, Kase felt better, we enjoyed a lovely date night with Kase's parents, and the weather was beautiful. Sunday morning, I woke up to a surprise. Kase had hidden my favorite easter treat (the big Reese's Easter Eggs) around the house and I had to hunt them. He is the sweetest. Best of all, it was also General Conference weekend. My favorite is always the Saturday sessions. It seems that the things I need to hear the most are always that day. Saturday was full of talks about the importance of the role of women, families, and the teaching of our children. Sunday many talks were about the ressurection and atonement. Pondering the selfless love and sacrifice of our Savior touched my heart and warmed my soul.


This morning I awoke refreshed and renewed. I am ready for a new week. A fresh start. A new beginning.


I love Easter and Spring.