Thoughts on being a Working Mom

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a stay at home mom. I know it would still be hard work but sometimes I wonder how different my life would be. I would love to stay at home with Eliza everyday. I feel like my soul would be freeer some how. Dont get me wrong, I love my job. If I have to work I couldn't pick a better place, but I still wonder what it would be like if things were different. As a kid, I always pictured myself being a stay-at-home mom just like my mother.

Kase and I would love to find a way for me to stay home. We pray about it and look for things we can do. Hopefully one day we will find a way.

Last week I had to travel for work. I was gone from Tuesday till Friday. It was hard for me to leave the Bug. Fortunately, I dont have to do that very often. On the plus side, there is a temple where I went and I was able to go.

I always enjoy going to the temple by myself because I feel like I focus better. As I sat in the temple I thought about being a working mom. I thought about how I feel inadequate sometimes and I often feel judged by others (that may be mostly in my head). I thought about how I feel lonely and often feel left out. I decided that if this is how I am suppose to be living right now, I dont want to be sad or constantly wishing for another way of life. I want to be happy. I suddenly felt that Heavenly Father knows me and loves me. I felt that I am special. I am not better than anyone else by any means but special in my own way. So many women that I would love to be like have a different way of life and sometimes that maks me feel unworthy or sad. But the truth is I am not those other women. I am doing something a lot of them would not be able to do. I am going to strive to be happy doing it and to set a good example. I had an overwhelming felling that I'm doing what I should be doing. Just like others are doing what they should be doing. I may not always be able to volunteer bring food to people in the middle of a work day, have the cleanest house, get to go to fun play groups, or weekday lunches but I am a good mother and wife. My daughter is happy, smart, and healthy. I just have a different life right now. That does not mean it is bad. It does not mean that someone who says a negative comment to me about being a working mother knows what they are talking about. I am doing just fine. I don't know what the future will bring for my sweet family but I know that I have been blessed beyond measure. I have the sweetest family and I am a good wife and mother whether I am at home or work.

Pink or Blue?????

We find out one week from today if this little one is a Boy or Girl.

We are so excited.

We really just want a healthy baby.

A girl would be fun because we already have pretty much everything we need for a girl. Plus Eliza could have a sister close in age and that would be fun too.

A boy would be fun because it would be all new to us. Plus I'm totally diggin' little boys clothes right now.

I had a dream it was a boy last week.

I had a dream it was a girl last night, but she also had 4 legs so I am hoping that is not true.

Either way, we are really excited.


So which one do you think it is?????

6 years

I remember the first time I saw Kase. I'd say it was about 2001. I was at the institute building and this boy came down the stairs with his flip flops on and furry hobbit toes... and I was smitten. Ok not really smitten, but I thought he was really cute and there was something about him. Something that was different. Alas, I had a boyfriend and so a friendship began. I secretly thought my friend with the green eyes and fluffy head of hair was absolutely adorable. We could talk for hours and he made me laugh. Then, it came time for him to leave on a mission for our church to California. So he left, and I waited.... no I mean dated. But I wrote him. A lot. Like more than a normal person probably should. We talked about all sort of things, and when I would open up my mailbox to find a letter from him I would get butterflies in my stomach. Nevermind that I had a boyfriend (a different one this time). I knew Kase was the one for me.

Have I ever told you that Kase asked me to marry him twice? Well, really it was only officially one time, but secretly it was twice. We were watching a movie and he had fallen asleep. I suspect he was faking though. While in his drowsy state, he said "You should marry me." I thought I would pass out from excitment, and I was so glad he figured out that I should marry him.

The first gift Kase ever bought me was a Simon and Garfunkel record. He bought it while he was on his mission and mailed it to me. He remembered that I loved S&G. I think he kind of liked me.

When we got married, I remember staring at him and looking into the beautiful mirrors surrounding us and thinking that I sure loved this boy. I was so excited to see our future together.

That was 6 years ago on August 12th. As I have watched the begginning of our story together unfold, I have been amazed. Together we have laughed, cried, loved, and created a beautiful, sweet, special daughter. Plus another baby on the way! It has been an amazing 6 years.

I have not cleaned the house lately, done laundry, or went grocery shopping. I have not had the energy to stay awake to watch movies. I have not cooked dinner in well..... ages. Kase's birthday was a few weeks ago, and I have not even made his birthday cake yet. But he still loves me. He still cleans, cooks, launders, and rubs my feet. (At least I do not have hobbit toes.)

He is pretty awesome.

Our life together is pretty amazing.

I am one lucky girl.

Can't wait to see what the next 6 years bring.

junebugs and snowbabies

Did you know that we call Eliza our Eliza bug, which was originally short for Junebug?

We call her that because she was born in June.

I always thought that Junebugs were lightening bugs.

And I thought Eliza is very much like a lightening bug because she is very fiesty, pretty, and lights up our lives. (I know cheesy.)

Turns out Junebugs are not lightening bugs. They are those giant beetles that flew into my hair and freaked me out as a kid when I played outside.

But that's OK. It still sounds cute. And now we mostly call her the bug, without the 'June'.

She is her own kind of hybrid bug: fiesty, pretty, lights up our lives, and freaks me out a little. 

But mostly she is beautiful.

I think she will be a wonderful big sister.

I guess we will have to call our next baby something to do with snow as he/she is expected in January 2013. 

Our snowbaby:

 

Better Than Nothing

A post with no pictures is sad... but better than nothing right?

I hope to get around to posting pictures soon, but until then here is our summer so far:

1- After Eliza turned two, we headed to Florida with my parents to drop off my sister who is working at Disneyworld for 7 months. Kase, Eliza and I drove to Chatttanooga to meet my parents. On our mini-road trip, we listened to a 90's music playlist that Kase had created for us. It was full of those ridiculous songs that are fun to sing to from back then. One of the songs we listened to was "If I had a Million Dollars" by the Barenaked Ladies. Eliza loves to sing in the car. She usually sings ABC's, nursery rhymes, or primary (church) songs. A few days later, Eliza was singing to us as we rode with my parents somewhere. She mixed up a church song and our 90s music and sang "I love to see the temple, If I had a million dollars." It still makes me laugh everytime.

We drove down in my parents RV. My brother and his wife joined us a few days later. You know that movie National Lampoon's Vacation? That was pretty much us. ha ha. Ok not really. But we did have a lot of fun and it was nice to spend some time with my family. Especially my brother and his wife because we don't get much time together.

While in FL, we went to the Magic Kingdom at Disneyworld. I was a little worried about taking Eliza. I imagined us walking around with her crying ALL the time, and her being scared of everything. I imagined it being a nightmare. But I was pleasantly surprised. Eliza could ride a good majority of the rides at Disney, and she actually liked them! Her very first ride was Buzz Lightyear. She just sat and stared at everything with a very serious look on her face. When it was over she did her sign language for "more" and said "More rides mommy! More rides!" She had fun. She rode Buzz, Winnie the Pooh, Peter Pan, It's a Small World, the Haunted Mansion, the jungle cruise (she slept through), and Alladin's Magic Carpet Ride (she did cry on this one at first because she was upset we didn't get the blue carpet). She did not like the Tiki Bird show, but really I can't blame her. Dad got to be on "TV" at the Monter's Inc Laugh House show representing good ole Tennessee. That was pretty funny. Overall, I say our Disney experience was a success. Growing up, our family went to Disney a lot for vacations so I have a lot of fond memories there. It was nice to be there again with my family and to see Eliza experience it for the first time. Another plus, Eliza is still free! That is ALWAYS good.


2- Did I mention my sister is working at Disneyworld? That is pretty cool. I am proud of her. I'm not going to lie, I'm thinking that Disney is pretty close to slave drivers but I hope my sister holds out and makes it through her time there.

3- When we returned from FL, it was back to the real world. Eliza had her 2 year check up. She did so good. They had to prick her finger to take some blood and she didn't cry at all.... UNTIL the nurse said something about getting a bandaid. Eliza DOES NOT LIKE bandaids. So it was all over then. She weighs 30 lbs and is 35.5 inches tall. She is such a smart little girl.

4- We visited my family again (in TN this time) for my brother's 25th birthday. His wife was totally awesome and had a ton of yummy food for us. We watched the last 2 batman movies and had icecream with our own Marble-slab type mixins. Soooo fun. I think he should have another birthday soon.

5- We had a fun fourth of July. We went to our friend Holly's for her annual celebration and then we went to Kase's parent's house for swimming with the grandparents, aunt, and cousins. Eliza is afraid of the pool. (Have I mentioned she is afraid of a lot of things?) I was able to drag her in kicking and screaming literally. After a while she warmed up to it and I think she had fun. We had dinner with Superdeb and Grandpa later, and ended the day watching our neighbor's fireworks and eating smores. Nothing better than that!

Sooooo our summer has been really great so far. Right now I have a few things I am looking forward too: going to see the new batman movie (yes I'm a dork), visiting my mom for her birthday, and taking Kase on a birthday get-away. I've always been a fall kind of girl, but this summer has been pretty nice. Even with the 100 million degree temperature.

Happy summer!

Our Little Bug Turned Two!

Today is Eliza's 2nd birthday. I have to say that so far, her second year of life has been my very favorite. She has learned so much. She says so much and her personality has really came out. We have absolutely loved watching her grow and change this past year. She is amazing.

I decided on what her 2nd birthday party theme would be when she was around 17 months. Her favorite book is 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' by Eric Carle. She LOVES it, and she loves it still. She use to say "hungee" (hungry) on every page. Now she knows a lot of the words. 

For her birthday, we got her a Hungry Caterpillar play tent. She loves it and calls it her house. She has be best time taking her toys inside and getting mommy and/or daddy to join her.  

Inside the tent.

Random picture of the birthday girl with one of her dress up birthday presents on her head.

Her party was last Saturday. We had family and close friends over. My only regret is that our house is not bigger. I felt like everyone was cramped and I felt bad. But I hope they had fun, and I am so glad they all came. Eliza is one loved little girl.

The Caterpillar Cake

The Food

 One of Eliza's favorite friends from daycare came by to see her before the party started. Eliza was SO excited to see miss K. You can see the happiness on Eliza's face:

As our activity, we did a caterpillar hunt. My mom, sister, sister's boyfriend, and I made these out of egg cartons. It was really fun, and I think the kids had fun. They really liked the magnifying glasses used for locating the bugs.

Egg carton caterpillar.

Grandpa, cousins Sophie and Lotus, and friend J looking for caterpillars.

Eliza was too scared to get down. It was her party and she difinitly cried when she wanted to.

J enjoying his magnifying glass.

Eliza about to enjoy her cake (and almost burn her finger off. I said ALMOST so don't worry.)

Her 2nd attempt at blowing out the candle. I accidentally blew it out the first time.

Enjoying her cake.

So you are probably wondering why I didn't get pictures of Eliza opening any presents? Well, that is because she wouldn't open any of them! Oh the joys of a two year old. She wanted nothing to do with opening presents. I felt really awkward and didn't know if I should tell everyone she would open them later. I decided that people like to see their presents opened so I began opening in the hopes that she would become interested. Well, that did not work either. So her cousins helped me open presents. But she really did love all her presents....after everyone left. Maybe she does not like being the center of attention? I hope noone was offended. At least our dear friend Holly convinced her to sit close to me while I opened all of the gifts. Sigh......

We had a great time and enjoyed seeing everyone that came to her party.

Eliza at two:
- Says things I didn't know she could say: "Mommy, I have a bruise." "The wind is blowing the curtain." "Don't be scared, it's just a piece of dirt." "My mouth hurts mommy." "I don't like it" "Wanna go downstairs and play?"
- She is very sweet. When I got home from work today and picked her up she gave me a kiss on each cheek, took my face in her hands, and looked at me so lovingly I thought I might burst.
- She is very sour. She has a temper. She likes to whine a lot when she is tired.
- She calls yogurt "mynant" for some reason. We ask her to say "yo." she says "yo." We ask her to say "gurt," she says "mynant." We don't get it.
- She calls milk "mook".
- She is officially completely weaned. Yes, she nursed up until last week. Only once a day. She still asks me for mommy mook but I am able to distract her with other things like bananas or mynant. But I think it was mostly a comfort thing for her. So we snuggle in the rocking chair before bed instead, and it is heavenly.
- She will not eat a lot of things, including most vegetables and all meat except for bacon. 
- She LOVES her little friends at school and talks about them daily.
- She loves the mall playground and going down the slide.
- Her favorite things are books, puzzles, and an occasional babydoll.
- We are so amazed at how smart, loving, sweet, and fun she is. We are excited to see what this next year will bring.

Happy 2nd birthday Little Bug.

What We've Been Up To

Well, I did it again. I forgot to blog. So here are some pictures from our last few months.

Eliza and her Easter basket. What do you give an almost 2 year old? Books, playdoh, and a babydoll. But she will mostly love the empty eggs.



Ready for Easter Sunday.




Heading off to church.



Her hair is finally growing.

An almost ponytail!

AND Pigtails!!!

We have mostly been playing, reading books, doing puzzles, and having the best time watchin Eliza grow. It has been a good few months.