Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dear United States Postal Service (may I call you USPS?),

I am writing in regards to the strain that I sense in our relationship. I feel that we have been drifting apart for quite some time now. I am not sure if it’s me or you. (Although I am kind of sure it is you.)

The past few times I have visited you, you have made me wait. Keep in mind this was BEFORE Christmas time. On more than one occasion, as I approached one of your employees in a friendly manner, I was treated very rudely. I’ll have you know that the envelope I was trying to mail was NOT too thick and DID have enough postage. Another time, I did not know the difference between registered mail and return receipt mail. I would’ve simply appreciated a friendly explanation, instead of a grumpy "talking to".

It seems that your employees just don’t like me. On your TV commercials they are always so helpful and friendly, but when I come to visit they almost act as if they wish I weren’t there. Perhaps, you’re thinking it is something that I am doing. Am I being friendly to your employees? Yes. Am I visiting your office at the end the day right before closing time? No. Am I mailing hazardous, restricted, or perishable mail? Never, I usually just need to buy stamps.

No, USPS, I don’t think it’s me. Maybe you are in denial about your own problems. The last time I visited you, I noticed the rope with attached sign that read "form line here" was gone. I asked one of your employees what had happened to it. She said you had taken it away because you felt it was not friendly enough. No, USPS, it is not your rope that I dislike or that makes me feel that you are unfriendly. In fact, I liked that rope. Now I don’t know where to stand exactly and I am not sure your employees realize that I am in line and in need of service since they never make eye contact with me. It’s not your rope, you have other problems that need addressing.

USPS, I hope we can fix our relationship. I will continue to try. Maybe one day we can work this out. Otherwise, and I hate to say this, but I will have to see what brown can do for me.

Sincerely,

Your Devoted(ish) Customer

2 comments:

Erin_C said...

ummm . . . love this. They get the meanest people to work there, I swear. Though, it will help when you're toting around a massive baby belly. That was the one time I remember real niceness.

I'm bitter about stamp prices too.

(And thanks for the treats on our doorstep. Sad we missed them. Maybe they'll still be there when we get back??)

The Fishers said...

Don't worry, they don't like me either.